First 10 Things I've Learned from LOST! (First, meaning I might have more later)

10. If I'm 9 months pregnant I should never get on an airplane because it might crash and I'll most certainly go into labor 8.2 minutes after swimming to shore. If I'm lucky, a handsome doctor will be there to help me in my delivery. I hope his name is Jack.

9. If I ever decide to kill someone by blowing them up in their house, I'll be sure to find a plane that might crash over some deserted island and maybe, just maybe the officer who came to get me will die and then I can fall in love with two different guys unable to figure out what I want because I am dumb. I might have really great hair though.

8. Once on this island, if I see creepy black smoke that tends to kill people I'll be sure to steer clear of it when it shakes the 100 foot trees just behind me from the beach because there is no way I'm messin' with that!

7. If, when on this island, a man named John Locke tells me to do anything, I'll do it because I think he is pretty cool for being an old guy. However, as the days progress I might wonder if he hasn't made some baaaad choices.

6. I've also learned that once on a deserted island with a bunch of strangers that all my deep dark past secrets will come up, but together we can figure it out and all will be well. Well, at least until we get back to America then it will all bite me in the butt.

5. If I happen to meet a bug-eyed guy named Ben, I will not trust anything he says unless I'm in a tight spot because then he might be pretty convincing, bug-eyed or not.

4. It's good to have an Iraqi soldier around in case there needs to be some torture or something.

3. If there is an option between sleeping in a cozy house with electricity and running water and the beach, choose the beach because it's clearly the better choice.

2. Guns are handy.

1. Always keep a battery powered long range radio/phone packed with my toiletries. Always.